important things to remember
- if someone doesn’t reply to your message they are probably busy, not ignoring you
- just because someone doesn’t message you first, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you
- if someone seems upset or distant they probably aren’t upset at you in particular
- lots of people love you and you’re not annoying
"Gender reduces women to objects under the male gaze. Lesser than objects only valued if they’re good to look at, give orgasms, and raise children. Gender may look like art, fashion, a cool manner of self-definition to you but that is gender stripped of it’s consequences and causes. (Among a privileged classes it’s a bit watered down you see, made comfy and even ‘cool’ so people will keep buying into it.) Nevertheless, gender is the expanded ideology of sexism, pervasively indoctrinated into every culture on the face of the Earth. Gender abolition is incredibly important, and gender celebration is a mindless endorsement of oppression and sexist fuckery."
— ladymaxwell (via never-obey)
"What really bothers me is that your mainstream readers (most of whom have little-to-no prior knowledge about radical feminism or transgender activism) will most likely not see through the article’s journalistic-ish veneer, and will assume that it represents an “objective” and “unbiased” presentation of the situation. And they will assume that transgender activists are mean people and completely out of control, because they have not been offered any evidence to suggest otherwise. And the insinuations that Goldberg makes throughout her article — that trans people act irrationally, are sexually deviant, and potentially dangerous — will seem to have “truthiness” to your readers, because the media has been propagating these very stereotypes of us for almost half a century. And when your readers do eventually meet a real-life trans person, perhaps they will misgender them, or dismiss them as a “pervert,” and justify those acts by referencing a New Yorker article they once read."
An Open Letter to The New Yorker | Julia Serano
If you haven’t been following, read the original New Yorker story and then Julia’s full response. So, so important to constantly hold one another accountable, especially when one group’s “activism” exists only to cut another group down.
Trans woman checking in. Transgender activism has in fact been taken over by mean people who are out of control. What was actually left out of the New Yorker article is the fact that trans women commit crime, including violent crime, at the same rate as all males. Couple that with the fact that 75% of trans women do not have any form of genital surgery, and that trans women are known to rape women born female, and I’d say that women have every right to insist that sex matters.
David “Darlie” Brewster lived as a man until he was in his fifties, with a successful career as an animator. Then he got facial feminization surgery and breast implants, started posting inappropriate selfies, and has spent his retirement making comics about how “funny” it is that Cathy Brennan is a rape victim.
Former British politician Sarah Brown was invited to be the keynote speaker at the London Dyke March this year, despite the fact that Brown has said that vaginas are “offputting” and has also told women to “suck my formaldehyde pickled balls”.
Your own problematic fav Julia Serano has written at length about how unfair it is that lesbians don’t want to date trans women with penises (nice guy, much?), besides making up the patently offensive term “rapeaholic” to describe women in a futile attempt to “prove” that autogynephilia doesn’t exist.
I can keep going if you want, but I don’t want to.
As Andrea James recently pointed out, white, formerly heterosexually married trans women have been quietly taking over the boards of some of the most prominent gay organizations. That’s why GLAAD and HRC are now pushing the explicitly anti-female agenda that lesbians - that is, females who partner with females - no longer have the right to sex-segrated space. Given the reality of sexual violence by males against females - including attacks perpetrated by trans women - don’t you think it’s time to call bullshit on this agenda? I’m a trans woman, and I sure do!
Women are not the ones doing the oppression here. Just sayin’.
*watches Jon Stewart’s comments on Ferguson* hey look it’s a white man getting heaps of credit and adulation for saying the exact same shit that black people have been saying for weeks now. how unexpected.
WHITE SAVIOR! WHITE SAVIOR! bow down……*side eye*
"Imagine yourself when you were 10 years old. I want you to imagine her sitting there right now. Now, tell that little girl she’s fat. Tell that little girl she’s ugly. Tell that little girl she’s an embarrassment, and worthless, and useless…because that’s what you do every single day you say that to yourself, when you convince yourself that you’re an embarrassment, and a burden. Do you think she’s ugly, or horrible, or worthless? What do you want to say to that little girl, if she said to you that’s how she felt about herself?"
— Kester, My Mad Fat Diary (via goodking-wenceslas)
Teachers are often unaware of the gender distribution of talk in their classrooms. They usually consider that they give equal amounts of attention to girls and boys, and it is only when they make a tape recording that they realize that boys are dominating the interactions.
Dale Spender, an Australian feminist who has been a strong advocate of female rights in this area, noted that teachers who tried to restore the balance by deliberately ‘favouring’ the girls were astounded to find that despite their efforts they continued to devote more time to the boys in their classrooms. Another study reported that a male science teacher who managed to create an atmosphere in which girls and boys contributed more equally to discussion felt that he was devoting 90 per cent of his attention to the girls. And so did his male pupils. They complained vociferously that the girls were getting too much talking time.
In other public contexts, too, such as seminars and debates, when women and men are deliberately given an equal amount of the highly valued talking time, there is often a perception that they are getting more than their fair share. Dale Spender explains this as follows:
The talkativeness of women has been gauged in comparison not with men but with silence. Women have not been judged on the grounds of whether they talk more than men, but of whether they talk more than silent women.
In other words, if women talk at all, this may be perceived as ‘too much’ by men who expect them to provide a silent, decorative background in many social contexts. This may sound outrageous, but think about how you react when precocious children dominate the talk at an adult party. As women begin to make inroads into formerly ‘male’ domains such as business and professional contexts, we should not be surprised to find that their contributions are not always perceived positively or even accurately."
As a teacher, I give girls what I hope is a lot of attention. I don’t know if I give girls their fair share, but I aspire to, especially after noticing that boys are willing to use their greater share of teachers’ attention to get girls who they feel aren’t being quiet and docile enough punished. I have therefore acquired a reputation for “caring more about the girls.” This has had two marked results: Some straight boys have gotten more hostile toward me, and most girls have gotten more confident around me. This makes me think I’m doing something right.
Longer thoughts on how this phenomenon relates to sexual harassment in classrooms, if you’re interested: The girls figured out I won’t report them if they hit boys who are sexually harassing them, I’ll only report the boys. This led to an increase in how often girls got the last word and boys got smacked in my classes, and, also, to a DECREASE IN HOW OFTEN GIRLS GOT SEXUALLY HARASSED. The sexual harassers seem to have been depending on the sort of “equal blame” and “retaliation is never warranted” and “don’t hurt others’ feelings” perspectives so many schools try to instill in kids; the sexual harassers were usually the ones bringing me into the situation by saying, “Miss, she hit me! You should write her up!” Once they figured out I was only ever going to respond, “If you don’t treat girls like that, they won’t hit you,” the girls got more confident and the sexual harassers largely shut the fuck up.
In schools, fighting against sexual harassment is often punished exactly the same as, or more severely than, sexual harassment — a lot of discipline codes make no distinction between violence and violence in self-defence, and violence is ALWAYS the highest level of disciplinary infraction, whereas verbal sexual harassment rarely is. Sexual harassers, at least in the schools I’ve been in, rely heavily on GETTING GIRLS IN TROUBLE WITH HIGHER AUTHORITIES as a strategy of harassment — creating an external punishment that penalises girls for and therefore discourages girls from fighting back. Sexual harassers are willing to use their greater share of floorspace to ask to get girls who won’t date them punished. By and large, teachers do punish those girls when they swear or hit. Schools condition girls to ignore sexual harassment by punishing them when they speak up or fight back instead.
Once the sexual harassers in my classes understood that girls wouldn’t be punished for rejecting them, they backed off around me. And there started to be a flip in what conversations I get called into — girls are telling me when boys are being nasty (too loud and dominant), instead of boys telling me when girls are being uncooperative (louder and more dominant than boys think they should be).
reblogging again for the wonderful commentary.
Food for thought
Porn is one of the biggest and most harmful industries in the world, closely affiliated with human trafficking and drugs and alcohol abuse, causing rape between children, violence, beastiality and pedophilism and its fetishizing race, underage girls, trans people and lesbianism. Thought you should know.